(Whose fiction is "blood-and-brandy," oh!)
Says Africa always comes handy, oh!
For "something new." It sounds grandy, oh!
But a telling new plot I'm afraid is _not_
The fortune of GRANDY-PANDY, oh!

Did they miss me much? Well, I fancy not;
(Though a few did come to greet me;)
The general verdict's "A very queer lot!"
Nor is SOL in a hurry to meet me.
_He_ does not spy me afar off. No!
He would rather I kept my distance;
And if to the front I again should go,
'Twon't be with _his_ assistance.
He deems me a troublesome GRANDY, oh'
In political harness not handy, oh!
I am out of a job, while BALFOUR is a nob,
That lank and effeminate dandy, oh!
Well, a prodigal son _may_ be "sandy." oh!
I am off for a soda-and-brandy, oh!
And a "tub" at my Club, where I'm sure of a snub
From the foes of returning GRANDY, oh!

* * * * *

[Illustration: "A VOLUNTARY CONTRIBUTION."

_Philistine Wife_. "YOUR PAPER ISN'T AT ALL AMUSING JUST NOW. BUT
THERE, I MUST CONFESS IT IS _NOT_ EASY TO BE EITHER FUNNY OR WITTY
EVERY WEEK."