Hercules, as we were directed to call her by Sir Hercules, was as large
in dimensions, and ten times more proud than her husband. She was an
excessive fine lady in every respect; and whenever she made her
appearance on board, the ship's company looked upon her with the
greatest awe. She had a great dislike to ships and sailors; officers she
seldom condescended to notice; and pitch and tar were her abomination.
Sir Hercules himself submitted to her dictation; and, had she lived on
board, she would have commanded the ship: fortunately for the service,
she was always very seasick when she was taking a passage, and therefore
did no mischief. "I recollect," said my father to me, "once when we were
running down to Portsmouth, where we had been ordered for provisions,
that my Lady Hercules, who was no fool of a weight, being one night
seasick in her cot, the lanyard of the cot gave way, and she came down
with a run by the head. The steward was called by the sentry, and there
was a terrible shindy. I, of course, was sent for, as I had the hanging
up of the cot. There was Sir Hercules with his shirt flapping in the
wind, and a blanket over his shoulders, strutting about in a towering
passion; there was the officer of the watch, who had been sent for by
mistake, and who was ordered to quit the cabin immediately; and there
was I, expecting to be put in irons, and have seven dozen for my
breakfast. As for Sir Hercules, he didn't know what to do; he did
nothing but storm at everybody, for my lady, with her head under the
clothes, was serving him out at no small rate. She wouldn't, she
declared, allow any man to come into the cabin to hoist her up again. So
indecent, so indelicate, so shocking--she was ashamed of Sir
Hercules--to send for the men; if they didn't leave the cabin
immediately, she'd scream and she'd faint--that she would--there was no
saying what she wouldn't do! Well, there we waited just outside until at
last Sir Hercules and my lady came to a parley. She was too sick to get
out of bed, and he was not able to hoist her up without assistance; so