Hover parties as don't know the ropes, in a market that's mostly too full;
But this Classick kerriculum's kibosh, Greek plays, Latin verse and all
that.
All CAT ULLUS's haitches won't 'elp yer, if Nature 'as built yer a flat!

Though ARRIUS's haspirates rucked, and made Mister CAT ULLUS chi-ike,
He was probably jest such a rattler as poets and prigs _never_ like,
When a chap knows 'is book, piles the ochre, perhaps becomes pal to a
Prince,
Lor! it's wonderful 'ow a dropped haitch or two _do_ make the
mealy-mouths wince.

Wot's a haitch but a garsp, arter all? Yer swell haspirate's only a
breath,
Yet, like eating green peas with a knife, it scumfoodles the sniffers to
death,
As a fack the knife's 'andiest, fur, and there's many a haitch-screwing
toff
Who would find patter easier biz if the motter was "haspirates is hoff!"

_The_ 'Igher Hedgercation means "savvy"; you size up the world, patter
slang,
Hit slick, give what for, and Compulsory Latin and Greek may go 'ang.
That's "modernity," CHARLIE! Style, modesty, taste? Oh, go 'ome and eat
coke!
Old STUFFY KNEES wouldn't 'ave tumbled, you bet, to a Music 'All joke.

"Jest fancy a gentleman not knowing Greek!" So a josser named FROUDE
Said some time ago. Oh Gewillikens! Must ha' bin dotty or screwed.
A modern School Master could hopen his hoptics a mossel, you bet;