CZAR." DORIAN had already escaped, bearing on his handsome countenance
the impress of fists and the stains of flattened mince-pies.

For my own part ... I don't know how I managed to get away. I suppose
I must have been rendered insensible by a candlestick which was thrown
at me. At all events, I found myself on the floor, having tumbled out
of bed ... But how I had ever got to bed I do not remember. It may
be I shall never discover the truth of it all. Stay!--had I been
hypnotised? If so, when, where, and by whom?

* * * * *

AN ANTI-HISS-TRIONIC BIRD.

A "PAR" in the _Daily News_ last Thursday told how the Antipodæans had
presented Miss NELLIE FARREN with "a Laughing Jackass." What a time
he'll have of it! Always in fits, and perhaps the merry bird will at
last "die o' laughin'"! For it is a biped and not a quadruped; not
that as a biped "the Laughing Jackass" is by any means a _lusus
naturæ_. This bird, not probably unfamiliar with the "'Oof Bird" of
sporting circles, is, it is said, "a foe to snakes." Excellent omen
this for Miss FARREN. Laughter everywhere, and no hissing permitted.
If hissing heard anywhere, up starts the Laughing Jackass and down
he comes on the snake, and there's an end of the hissing. Theatrical
Managers would do well to cultivate the Laughing Jackasses, and keep a
supply always on the premises.

* * * * *

'ARRY ON ARRIUS.