the preliminary process, we intend to grill the tongues for thirty-six
hours, fry them for an afternoon, stew them for two days, hang them
out of the window for five hours, and then bray them in a mortar. We
fancy what is left will be worth eating.

* * * * *

RYMOND has been reading, with much interest, HENED's account of how he
got the Influenza, and what he did with it. Apparently the first thing
to do is, to "send for a thermometer," (as others would send for a
Doctor), and take it to bed with you.

"Evidently," HENED writes last week in _his_ journal, "when a person
does not feel well, he should try his temperature, and, if it be
abnormally high, he should go to bed, and stay there until it comes
down."--"Of course," RYMOND observes, with rare lapse into cynicism,
"when the bed comes down, he is bound to go."

* * * * *

MATRIMONY UP TO DATE.

[The Defendant in a recent breach of promise case wrote to his
intended, "When we are married you will have to sit with me
when I am queer."]

Dear Ladies, who contemplate marriage,
And imagine you'll ride in a carriage,
With a house of your own, and your servants to wait for you,
I'm afraid there's a totally different fate for you.