my faith as well as of my life that they turned even my best
friends against me, and those who still retained something of their
former regard for me were fain to disguise it in every possible way
by reason of their fear of these two men.

God is my witness that whensoever I learned of the convening of a
new assemblage of the clergy, I believed that it was done for the
express purpose of my condemnation. Stunned by this fear like one
smitten with a thunderbolt, I daily expected to be dragged before
their councils or assemblies as a heretic or one guilty of impiety.
Though I seem to compare a flea with a lion, or an ant with an
elephant, in very truth my rivals persecuted me no less bitterly
than the heretics of old hounded St. Athanasius. Often, God knows,
I sank so deep in despair that I was ready to leave the world of
Christendom and go forth among the heathen, paying them a
stipulated tribute in order that I might live quietly a Christian
life among the enemies of Christ. It seemed to me that such people
might indeed be kindly disposed toward me, particularly as they
would doubtless suspect me of being no good Christian, imputing my
flight to some crime I had committed, and would therefore believe
that I might perhaps be won over to their form of worship.



CHAPTER XIII

OF THE ABBEY TO WHICH HE WAS CALLED AND OF THE PERSECUTION HE HAD
FROM HIS SONS, THAT IS TO SAY THE MONKS, AND FROM THE LORD OF THE
LAND