Would radiate aurorally, a world would gaze on trustingly
If only things in general wouldn't go on so disgustingly.
Where _is_ the pull of being Earth's Inspector autocratical,
When the Progress _I_'d be motor of seems mainly automatical?

ALL.

Hooray! My would-be Jupiter, a _parvenu_ is told again
He's not the true Olympian, Jack-in-the-Box is "Sold Again!!!"

* * * * *

"ARTIFICIAL OYSTER-CULTIVATION," read Mrs. R., as the heading of a par
in the _Times_. "Good gracious!" she exclaimed, "who on earth would
ever think of eating 'artificial oysters!'"

* * * * *

NOTHING is certain in this life except Death, Quarter Day and stoppage
for ten minutes at Swindon Station.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SO CONVENIENT!

_Young Wife_. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING, REGGIE DEAR?"

_Reggie Dear_. "ONLY TO THE CLUB, MY DARLING."

_Young Wife_. "OH, I DON'T MIND THAT, BECAUSE THERE'S A TELEPHONE