get from them, the waiter brought on the oysters for the whole party,
having taken it for granted that I was going to stay. So to escape
making myself any more conspicuous by further refusal, I sat down. How
gloriously every morsel tasted--the first food I had touched for three
days and three nights. When I came to Chicago with a pocket full of
money I sought James out and told him I owed him half a dollar. He
said no, but I insisted my memory was better than his, and made him
take it. Well, when I wanted ten dollars, I went to him, and he gave
it to me freely, and would take no security. Have written four hours
this evening; two pounds of crackers; sleep on office floor to-night."

The diary relates many incidents like this. He took a boyish pride
in refusing offers of assistance, in resisting temptation to innocent
indulgence, in passing most of his hours in study, earning only enough
by his copying to keep body and soul together. One entry is, "Read one
hundred and fifty pages of Blackstone--slept on floor." Such a regimen
was not long in having its effect upon even his rugged health. He
writes: "I tried to read, but could not. I am afraid my strength will
not hold out. I have contracted a cold by sleeping on the floor, which
has settled in my head, and nearly sets me crazy with catarrh. Then
there is that gnawing, unsatisfied sensation which I begin to feel
again, which prevents any long-continued application." About this time
he was urged to take command of a company of cadets which, through
mismanagement, had been reduced to a deplorable condition. He at first
declined, but afterward consented if the company would accept certain
rigorous conditions of discipline and obedience. He was as firm as
granite to his company, and cheery and gay to the world, while in his
private life he was subjecting himself to the cruel rigors described
in his diary of April 21: "I am convinced that the course of reading
which I am pursuing is not sufficiently thorough. Have commenced again