["I never took anybody's umbrella."--_Plaintiff (a Cook) in a
recent Breach of Promise Case._]

Common are Cooks, professed, plain alike
And common, youths their sustenance who feed on,
Common (I'm told) a breach of promise suit,
And common, damages, in courts agreed on;
Common are briefs as blackberries; and fees
Are common quite as "leather and prunella";
Common are "unprotected" witnesses
("_Credat_"--as HORACE somewhere sings--"_Apella_!")
But most uncommon seems a lowly Cook
Who with sincerity can kiss the book
And swear (to shame her betters!) ne'er she took
By sad "mistake or otherwise," by hook;
Or, as will eventuate, by crook,
Be it silk or gingham--any one's umbrella!

* * * * *

MRS. RAM ON CURRENT POLITICS.--"Politics," says Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM, "is
one of the few things I know nothing about. But it does seem to me
that Lord GRANDOLPH CHURCHILL is a white elephant tied round the neck
of Lord SALISBURY."

* * * * *

"HEAVENS!"--Recently in the _Athenæum_, and copied elsewhere, appeared
the most interesting intelligence that has been received on earth for