felt how my wings beat the air only to drag me down--I was in the
water, with my feet tied together, and the harder I worked with my
arms, the further down I went--down, down, till I sank to the
bottom, where you lay in wait like a monster crab to catch me with
your claws--and now I'm there! Shame on you! How I hate you, hate
you, hate you! But you, you just sit there, silent and calm and
indifferent, whether the moon is new or full; whether it's
Christmas or mid-summer; whether other people are happy or unhappy.
You are incapable of hatred, and you don't know how to love. As a
cat in front of a mouse-hole, you are sitting there!--you can't
drag your prey out, and you can't pursue it, but you can outwait
it. Here you sit in this corner--do you know they've nicknamed it
"the mouse-trap" on your account? Here you read the papers to see
if anybody is in trouble, or if anybody is about to be discharged
from the theatre. Here you watch your victims and calculate your
chances and take your tributes. Poor Amèlia! Do you know, I pity
you all the same, for I know you are unhappy--unhappy as one who
has been wounded, and malicious because you are wounded. I ought to
be angry with you, but really I can't--you are so small after all--
and as to Bob, why that does not bother me in the least. What does
it matter to me anyhow? If you or somebody else taught me to drink
chocolate--what of that? [Takes a spoonful of chocolate; then
sententiously] They say chocolate is very wholesome. And if I have
learned from you how to dress--_tant mieux_!--it has only given me
a stronger hold on my husband--and you have lost where I have
gained. Yes, judging by several signs, I think you have lost him
already. Of course, you meant me to break with him--as you did, and
as you are now regretting--but, you see, _I_ never would do that.
It won't do to be narrow-minded, you know. And why should I take
only what nobody else wants? Perhaps, after all, I am the stronger