I need not refer you, sir, to the late instance of the Ojibbeway
Bride. But I am credibly informed, that she is on the eve of
retiring into a savage fastness, where she may bring forth and
educate a wild family, who shall in course of time, by the dexterous
use of the popularity they are certain to acquire at Windsor and St.
James's, divide with dwarfs the principal offices of state, of
patronage, and power, in the United Kingdom.

Consider the deplorable consequences, Mr. Hood, which must result
from these proceedings, and the encouragement they receive in the
highest quarters.

The dwarf being the favourite, sir, it is certain that the public
mind will run in a great and eminent degree upon the production of
dwarfs. Perhaps the failures only will be brought up, wild. The
imagination goes a long way in these cases; and all that the
imagination can do, will be done, and is doing. You may convince
yourself of this, by observing the condition of those ladies who
take particular notice of General Tom Thumb at the Egyptian Hall,
during his hours of performance.

The rapid increase of dwarfs, will be first felt in her Majesty's
recruiting department. The standard will, of necessity, be lowered;
the dwarfs will grow smaller and smaller; the vulgar expression "a
man of his inches" will become a figure of fact, instead of a figure
of speech; crack regiments, household-troops especially, will pick
the smallest men from all parts of the country; and in the two
little porticoes at the Horse Guards, two Tom Thumbs will be daily
seen, doing duty, mounted on a pair of Shetland ponies. Each of