And if there's further wasting, then, without too headlong hasting,
Give him, as soon as possible--a little _Country Air_!

* * * * *

LORD WILDERMERE'S MOTHER-IN-LAW.

She's as bad as can be, but she's "Precious" to me,
Though her conduct cannot be called free from a flaw;
For in spite of blackmail, I have vowed ne'er to fail
In the duty I owe to my Mother-in-law.

There have been flippant sneers and conventional jeers,
At a worthy relation that I hold in awe;
Though it angers my wife, all the joy of my life
Comes from drawing big cheques--for my Mother-in-law.

Peccadilloes she had, but she isn't all bad,
And the folks who have sneered shall their libels withdraw;
To our dance she shall come, and the world be struck dumb
At the way that I've whitewashed my Mother-in-law.

She shall rise from the slime of what people called crime,
To a virtuous height, for I always foresaw
'Twould be wise to proclaim to all ages the fame
Of that much-maligned female--a Mother-in-law.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE CHEEKY ONE) HAS TO PUT UP WITH.