_The S.A._ No, Sir, machine-brush would about sweep all the 'air _off_
your 'ed, Sir!

_The Gr. C._ Machinery for me--and your hardest brush, do you hear?

_The Loq. Ass._ { _(together, to_ {Shall I put anything on
_The S.A._ {_their respective_ { your 'ed, Sir?
{ _patients_.) {Like anything on your
{ 'air, Sir?

_The S.A._ Well, you may as well keep what little you _'ave_ got, Sir.
Like to try our 'Irsutine Lotion, capital thing, Sir. Known it answer
in the most desprit cases. Keep it in 'alf-crown or three-and-sixpenny
sizes. Can I 'ave the pleasure of puttin' you up a three-and-sixpenny
one, Sir? (_The Bald Customer musters up moral courage to decline,
at which the Assistant appears disgusted with him_.) No, Sir? Much
obliged, Sir. Let me see--(_with a touch of sarcasm_)--you part your
'air a one side, I _think_, Sir? Brush your 'at, Sir? Thankee, Sir.
Pay at the counter, _if_ you please. Shop--there!

_The Loq. Ass._ Think your 'air's as you like it now, Sir? Like to
look at yourself in a 'and-glass, Sir? Thank you, Sir.

[_The Bald Customer puts on his hat with relief, and
instantly recovers his self-respect sufficiently to cast a
defiant glare upon his rival, and walk out with dignity. The
Grizzled Customer after prolonged self-inspection, follows.
The two Assistants are left alone._

_The Loq. Ass._ Pretty proud of his 'air, that party, eh? Notice how I