'E alone knowed 'ow to deal
With Allotments, Taxes and Free Edgercation!

'E chose to play at hodd man hout;
'E ain't the fust by many
Wot's tried to Tommy-Dodd the rout
With a two-'eaded penny.
It's broke our trust; _'e_ can go 'ome
With Toffdom for next neighbour.
_'E_ won't cut Capital's cockscomb
In the 'Oly Cause o' Labour!

_Chorus._

Sich a snide man too! Sich a _very_ snide man!
And now,--but that's 'is hartful affectation!
'E would like to make hus feel
As he only "plays genteel,"
To give Toffs a Demmycratic Hedgercation!

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, March 7._--JOKIM in a bad way to-night.
People are wanting to know how it has come about that TATE's offer of
£80,000 for Picture Gallery, with £80,000 worth of pictures thrown
in to start it, has, after long correspondence with CHANCELLOR OF