that unfortunate Candidates are "spun."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.

_Little Jones_. "YOU'LL GIVE ME A DANCE TO-MORROW NIGHT, WON'T YOU,
MRS. FOOTE?"

_Mrs. Foote_ (_who is anxious to show her matronly consideration for
Unmarried Girls_). "WELL, I CAN'T PROMISE, AND IF THE MEN RUN _SHORT_,
YOU KNOW, I SHAN'T DANCE AT ALL!"]

* * * * *

THE TELEPHONE CINDERELLA;

OR, WANTED A GODMOTHER.

["Far from taking up and developing the new mode of
communication thus given into its hands, it (the Post Office)
could not forget its attitude of hostility to the innovation,
or conceive any larger policy than one of repressing the
telephone in order to make people stick to the telegraph....
The result is that England lags far behind all other civilised
countries in the use of the telephone."--_Times_.]

AIR--"_Ulalume_."

_Cinderella_, you sit and look sober,