"Even so, isn't it better to acknowledge them--and _be_ doomed?"

"That's the question. That's what I have to decide. That's where you
must help me decide. If you had allowed me, I should have made up my own
mind, on my own responsibility; but you won't let me. Now that the
incident at Lakefield is no good as evidence, I see that you will never
rest until we come to the plainest of plain speech. The problem I've had
to solve is this: Is Diane Eveleth to be happy, or am I? Is she to rise
while I go under, or shall I keep her down and stay on the surface?
Since it's her life or mine, which is it to be? The alternative may be a
brutal one, but there it is."

"And you've decided in your own favor?"

"So far. I've been actuated by the instinct of self-preservation."

"And are you going to persist in it?"

"That's for you to tell me. But I should like to remind you first of
this, that if I don't--I go."

"And what if--if I went with you?"

"You couldn't. The journey would be too long."

"But you needn't go so far if I'm there."

"I couldn't take you with me. You must understand that. I once knew an
American girl who married a man who cheated at cards, and buried herself
alive with him. I wouldn't let a woman do that for me."