mother would say--'Can that be our Greg--that thing with the strange look
in his eyes?'

"Yes, Jemima, it is your Greg, and the change has been coming over me ever
since I came here; but it is greatest since yesterday. You know what
sorrows I have passed through, Jemima; how unjustly I was always treated at
school, the masters keeping me back and calling me a blockhead, though, as
they themselves allowed, I had the best memory of any boy in the school,
and could repeat whole books from beginning to end. You know how cruelly
father always used me, calling me a noodle and a milksop, just because he
couldn't understand my fine nature. You know how he has made a farmer of
me instead of a minister, as I ought to have been; you know it all, Jemima;
and how I have borne it all, not as a woman, who whines for every touch,
but as a man should--in silence.

"But there are things, there is a thing, which the soul longs to pour forth
into a kindred ear.

"Dear sister, have you ever known what it is to keep wanting and wanting
and wanting to kiss some one's mouth, and you may not; to touch some one's
hand, and you cannot? I am in love, Jemima.

"The old Dutchwoman from whom I hire this place has a little stepdaughter,
and her name begins with 'E'.

"She is English. I do not know how her father came to marry a Boer-woman.
It makes me feel so strange to put down that letter, that I can hardly go
on writing 'E'. I've loved her ever since I came here. For weeks I have
not been able to eat or drink; my very tobacco when I smoke has no taste;
and I can remain for no more than five minutes in one place, and sometimes