I would not be understood so upon this Subject, as if we lived unhappily
as to our Affections; no, we regarded each other as two inseparable
Companions, not only whose Interest it was not to be at variance, but we
really did affectionately love each other. I cou'd not so much blame her
as my self for if Children, Servants, _&c._ make a loose from their
Duty, who are chiefly to be blam'd, but such gentle and restraining
Methods did not curb 'em, but let 'em feel they had Reins in their
Hands. Thus hamper'd in Wedlock, I had nothing to give me ease but that
three parts of Mankind were in the same, if not in a much worse
Condition. However, to make our Circumstances tollerable for the future,
I perswaded my Consort to abridge her self of some superfluous Charge
which we cou'd not well bear any longer. First we disposed of our Coach,
and then our Acquaintance was reform'd of Course; by Degrees a multitude
of modish Visitors dwindled away into two or three formal Matrons, which
at last ended in a Decent Apartment in a Monastery, where she spent her
Time agreeably enough when I was in the Camp. Hitherto the main matter
which pall'd all my Joys, was the impossibility of a Restoration, which
now was much lessen'd by the concurrence of Domestick Evils, and the
Cares which attend a married State. Yet when I seriously reflected upon
the Conduct of _France_ in regard of King _James_ and the Pretender, I
have often observ'd my self to sweat and fret my self into a violent
Fever with the very Thoughts of it; but I never was so sensibly touch'd
upon this Head as after the Battle of _Malplacket_. which was follow'd
with the Surrender of several Towns, so that there was nothing but the
poor Barrier of _Landrecy_ left to save the Capital, and by Consequence,
the Kingdom of _France_. The _French_ King having now play'd away all
his Leading Cards, was now put to his Trumps. He attempts the
Treacherous and Needy Ministers with long Bags of _Louisdo'rs,_ which
were all ineffectual when his Arms cou'd do no more.