"I inspected the great war-engine, and, instead of its going strong,
I saw that in each of its workings there was always something wrong;
In fact, with the old black powder and the obsolete Brown Bess
The chances of missing your target were infinitely less.

"The so-called arm of precision scores only by lucky hits,
Though the 'heavies' and high explosives may possibly blow you to bits;
I saw one corpse on my 'joy-ride,' the head had been blown away,
And the thought of this painless ending produced in me no dismay."

_Now he's back in the finest feather from his holiday with the Staff,_
_And we're sure that no one will grudge him the meed of this epitaph:_
_"He went through the fiery furnace, but never a hair was missed_
_From the heels of our most colossal Arch-Super-Egotist."_

* * * * *

"GREAT WHITE SALE.

UNREPEATABLE BARGAINS IN LINGERIE."--_Daily Paper._

We respect this reticence.

* * * * *

"The public are responding but slowly to the appeal of the Post Office
to facilitate the delay of correspondence in London by using the new
numbered addresses."--_Daily Mail._