CONVERSATION AND SOME OF ITS USES

Your conversation should also be planned more or less in advance.
Select some topic in which you think your lady friend will be
interested, such as, for example, the removal of tonsils and
adenoids, and "read up" on the subject so that you can discuss it
in an intelligent manner. Find out, for example, how many people
had tonsils removed in February, March, April. Contrast this with
the same figures for 1880, 1890, 1900. Learn two or three amusing
anecdotes about adenoids. Consult Bartlett's "Familiar
Quotations" for appropriate verses dealing with tonsils and
throat troubles. Finally, and above all, take time to glance
through four or five volumes of Dr. Eliot's Five Foot Shelf, for
nothing so completely marks the cultivated man as the ability to
refer familiarly to the various volumes of the Harvard classics.


A PROPER CALL

Promptly at the time appointed you should arrive at the house
where the young lady is staying. In answer to your ring a German
police dog will begin to bark furiously inside the house, and a
maid will finally come to the door. Removing your hat and one
glove, you say, "Is Miss Doe home?" The maid replies, "Yass, ay
tank so." You give her your card and the dog rushes out and bites
you on either the right or left leg. You are then ushered into a
room in which is seated an old man with a long white beard. He is
fast asleep. "Dot's grampaw," says the maid, to which you reply,
"Oh." She retires, leaving you alone with grampaw. After a while
he opens his eyes and stares at you for a few minutes. He then