of the better-class hardware stores. Ascertain (from the Social
Register, preferably) the location of the young lady's residence,
and go there on some dark evening about nine o'clock. Fasten the
rope across the sidewalk in front of the residence about six
inches or a foot from the ground. Then, with the aid of a match
and some kerosene, set fire to the young lady's house in several
places and retire behind a convenient tree. After some time, if
she is at home, she will probably be forced to run out of her
house to avoid being burned to death. In her excitement she will
fail to notice the rope which you have stretched across the
sidewalk and will fall. This is your opportunity to obtain an
introduction. Stepping up to her and touching your hat politely,
you say, in a well modulated voice, "I beg your pardon, Miss Doe,
but I cannot help noticing that you are lying prone on the
sidewalk." If she is well bred, she will not at first speak to
you, as you are a perfect stranger. This silence, however, should
be your cue to once more tip your hat and remark, "I realize,
Miss Doe, that I have not had the honor of an introduction, but
you will admit that you are lying prone on the sidewalk. Here is
my card--and here is one for Mrs. Doe, your mother." At that you
should hand her two plain engraved calling cards, each containing
your name and address. If there are any other ladies in her
family--aunts, grandmothers, et cetera--it is correct to leave
cards for them also. Be sure that the cards are clean, as the
name on the calling card is generally sufficient for
identification purposes without the addition of the thumbprint.

When she has accepted your cards, she will give you one of hers,
after which it will be perfectly correct for you to assist her to
rise from the sidewalk. Do not, however, press your attentions