* * * * *

THE HARDSHIPS OF BILLETS.

As Jim and me lies in hospital gettin' better from our wounds we talks over
what we've been through in this War.

There was the time when we was billeted with Mrs. Dawkins, just before we
went to the Front, which dwells in our memories. When the billetin' orficer
introduced us into her kitchen Mrs. Dawkins went down on the bricks and
prayed she might do her duty by the two noble defenders of her country--she
meant me and Jim--who the Lord had pleased to deliver into her care. Then
she begun unlacin' Jim's boots. In a minute Mr. Dawkins come in; he said we
was hearty welcome, and was just goin' to shake 'ands with us when Mrs.
Dawkins turned on 'im and asked 'im what he meant by standin' there like a
gawk and not unlacin' mine. Jim and me was very uncomfortable.

Then some little Dawkinses come in, Susan, Sammy, Billy and Elfreda, and
was told by Mrs. Dawkins to pay their respecks to us, and do it proper or
she'd know the reason why. Sammy saluted left-'anded and she cuffed him
unmerciful. Jim and me begun to feel regler low-spirited.

After that she set out the tea. It was as butiful a tea as we could wish
for, cakes and jam, and bloater-paste and sardines, and bein' hungry after
a long march we cheered up and looked forward to enjoyin' it. As was
correck Jim 'anded all the dishes to Mrs. Dawkins first, but she said, "No,
thank you, such things are for the defenders of the country, and it is our
duty to provide them, but bread-and-dripping is good enough for me and Mr.
Dawkins and the children."