in the cinema." It is feared that they will have to go back to the
old-fashioned plan of chewing the corner of the programme.

***

At Hull, the other day, a tram-car dashed into a grocer's shop. No blame
attaches, we understand, to the driver, who sounded his gong three times.

* * * * *

TO THE GERMAN MILITARY PICTURE DEPARTMENT.

[The enemy, in his turn, is exhibiting a film of the fighting on the
Somme. At the close a statement is thrown upon the screen to the effect
that the Germans have "reached the appointed goal."]

On footer fields two goals are situated,
One, as a rule, at either end:
This for attack (in front) is indicated,
And this (to rearward) you defend;
In your remark projected on the screen
You don't say which you mean.

If you refer to ours in that ambiguous
And filmy phrase, why then you lie;
And if to yours--we hope to be contiguous
To our objective by-and-by,
But for the present, though the end is sure,
Your statement's premature.