free to believe or disbelieve the old teacher, whoever he may have
been, for his doctrines had no external constraint upon me; at last it
seized upon me with such power that it seemed to me I knew for the
first time what revelation was. It is precisely this fact that bars so
many out from true Christianity, namely: that its doctrines confront us
as revelation before revelation takes place in ourselves. This has
often given me much anxiety; not that I had ever doubted the truth and
divinity of our religion, but I felt I had no right to a belief which
others had given me, and that what I, had learned and received when a
child, without comprehending, did not belong to me. One can believe
for us as little as one can live and die for us."

"Certainly," said I; "therein lies the cause of many hot and bitter
struggles; that the teachings of Christ, instead of winning our hearts
gradually and irresistibly, as they won the hearts of the apostles and
early Christians, confront us from the earliest childhood as the
infallible law of a mighty church, and demand of us an unconditional
submission, which they call faith. Doubts arise sooner or later in the
breast of every one who has the power of thinking and reverence for the
truth; and then even when we are on the right road, to overcome our
faith, the terrors of doubt and unbelief arise and disturb the tranquil
development of the new life."

"I read recently in an English work," she interrupted, "that truth
makes revelation, and not revelation truth. This perfectly expressed
what I found in reading the 'German Theology.' I read the book, and I
felt the power of its truths so overwhelmingly that I was compelled to
submit to it. The truth was revealed to me; or rather, I was revealed
to myself, and I felt for the first time what belief meant. The truth
which had long slumbered in my soul belonged to me, but it was the word