charge had done; for I felt that, notwithstanding my ardent desire to
serve and glorify God, I had not the remotest conception how to do it,
as regards winning souls. The author of this book took it for granted
that every one who had the office of a pastor, had also the spiritual
qualification for it; but experience proves that this is by no means the
case. My ordination gave me an ecclesiastical position in the parish;
the law maintained me in it; and the people expected me to do the duties
of it: but how to carry all this out, except in a dry and formal way, I
did not know.

As time went on, my parochial duties increased. I had to baptize the
children, marry the young, visit the sick, and bury the dead; but I
could not help feeling how different was this in action, to what it was
in theory. I had had a kind of dreamland parish in my head, with daily
service, beautiful music, and an assembly of worshipping people; but
instead of this, I found a small, unsympathizing congregation, who
merely looked upon these sacred things as duties to be done, and upon me
as the proper person to do them. When I went to visit the sick I had
nothing to say to them; so I read a few Collects, and sometimes gave
them a little temporal relief, for which they thanked me; but I came out
dissatisfied with myself, and longed for something more, though I did
not know what.

Notwithstanding all these trials and disappointments, my health was
gradually improving. I found that the air of this place was like meat
and drink, and gave me an appetite for something more substantial. I
very often frequented the beach, with its beautiful cliffs, and was much
exhilarated by the bracing sea air; indeed, I had, and still retain,
quite a love for the place. As my strength and energy increased, I rode
about the parish all day, making the acquaintance of the people, and