was fled, even if it bad been possible. There was wrought in me
something more than submission, even a lifting-up of my will to the will
of God; and withal, such a love towards Him that I wondered at myself.
God had been, as it were, a stranger to me before. Now I felt as though
I knew and loved Him, and could kiss His hand, though my tears flowed
freely.

The funeral took place the same morning: it was a time of great emotion;
sorrow and joy met, and flowed together. I thought of the dear one I had
lost, but yet more of the God of love I had found; and to remember that
she was with Him was an additional comfort to me. The funeral service
was soothing and elevating beyond expression; and yet, when it was all
over, such a sense of desolation came upon me, that I felt utterly
forlorn and truly sad.

My nest was now completely stirred up; but instead of bemoaning its
broken state, I could see the eagle fluttering over her young ones
(Deut. 32:1). I was conscious that God was looking on, and that He had
not forsaken me in this great wreck.

The strain and excitement I had undergone naturally brought on an
illness. I was seized with inflammation of the lungs, and was
dangerously ill. From this, and other complications which supervened,
the doctor pronounced that I could not recover, and bade me prepare for
eternity.

Judges and doctors, when they pass sentence of death, seem to regard
religion as necessary preparation for it. Too common, also, is this
idea, even among those who do not belong to these respected professions.
My own opinion was much the same at that time.