(BY A CONFUSED CONSERVATIVE.)

To stave off Change, and check the loud Rad Rough rage,
Conservatism is as shield and fetter meant;
And now brave BALFOUR votes for Female Suffrage;
And RITCHIE tells us he approves of "Betterment"!
O valiant WESTMINSTER, O warlike WEMYSS,
Is _this_ to be the end of all our dreams?

* * * * *

LA JUSTICE POUR RIRE; OR, WHAT IT HAS NEARLY COME TO.

SCENE--Interior of a Foreign Law Court. Numerous officials in
attendance performing their various duties in an apprehensive
sort of way. Audience small but determined.

_Judge_ (_nervously_). Now are we really protected from disturbance?

_General in Command of Troops._ I think so. The Court House is
surrounded by an Army Corps, and the Engineers find that the place has
not been undermined to at least a distance of a thousand feet.

_Judge_ (_somewhat reassured_). Well, now I think we may proceed with
the trial. Admit the accused.

[_The Prisoner is bowed into the dock, and accommodated with
a comfortably cushioned arm-chair._