youthful friend and, if possible, avert her from her own sad fate. This
racking cough (ugh! ugh!) and this distressing _cat_-arrh, (snuff!
snuff!) with which you see me afflicted were brought on by the hardships
and exposure incident to the life of a barn-cat: midnight rambles, my
dear (ugh!), in frost and snow; days when not so much as a mouse's tail
has passed my hungry jaws, and winter nights when my coat was too thin
to keep out the cold. And all these sufferings, past and present, are in
consequence of my being a barn-cat.'

"'Now, may the dogs get me, if I ever heard such a string of nonsense!'
said Robber Grim. 'Don't believe a word she says. She's an old granny.
She's got the fidgets. She wants a dose of catnip-tea. Don't believe Tom
Skip-an'-jump, either. What does _he_ know about war? He never was shot
at. Look at me! I'm Robber Grim! I'm an old one, I am! I've got good
blood in my veins. My great-grandfather was a catamount and his
grandmother was a tiger-cat. I've been in a hundred battles. I've had
one eye knocked out and an ear bit off. I left a piece of my tail in a
trap. I've been scalded with hot water and peppered all over with shot.
_I'll_ teach you how to get a living without being a house-cat. I hate
houses and the people who live in them, and I do them all the mischief
I can. I eat up their chickens and I suck their eggs. I climb in at the
pantry window and skim their milk. Once when the cook left the kitchen
door open I snatched the beefsteak from the gridiron and made off with
the family dinner. They hate me--they do. They've tried to kill me a
dozen times; but I'm Robber Grim, ha! ha! and I've got nine lives!'

"At this instant there came a flash of lightning, followed by a peal of
thunder that shook the barn to its foundations, and every cat fled in
terror to its hole.