The officer sighed. "It's a bad business," he said. "He's the best man I
ever had on my ship."

He was speaking to himself, and again I had that strange sense of
unreality, as indeed I well might, for this was the Third Act of _True to
the Death_, a melodrama in the pavilion at the end of the pier.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE RETORT CELESTIAL.

[China has threatened to break off relations with the German Government on
account of its barbarity. It will be recalled that the KAISER once designed
an allegorical picture entitled "The Yellow Peril."]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SAUCE FOR THE GANDER.

_Grocer_. "A LITTLE SUGAR WITH MY TART, PLEASE."

_Waitress_ (_late grocer's assistant_). "CERTAINLY, SIR, IF YOU WILL ALSO
TAKE MUSTARD, PEPPER, SALT, YORKSHIRE RELISH AND SALAD DRESSING."]

* * * * *

WEATHER-VANES.

It was 2 A.M. The mosquitoes were singing their nightly chorus, and the