***

At the Billericay Tribunal an applicant last week stated that he had nine
children, but upon counting them again he discovered that he had ten. There
seems to be no excuse for this sort of thing, for Adding machines are now
fairly well advertised.

***

Discussing the latest dress fashion, a lady writer says, "It is a most
ridiculous dress. Nothing worse could be conceived." This, of course, is
foolish talk, for the lady has not seen next season's style.

***

Austrian tobacconists are now prohibited from selling more than one cigar a
day to a customer. To conserve the supply still further it is proposed to
compel the tobacconist to offer each customer the alternative of nuts.

***

"When I see a map of the British Empire," said Mr. PONSONBY, M.P., "I do
not feel any pride whatsoever." People have been known to express similar
sentiments upon sighting certain M.P.'s.

***

"The public must hold up the policeman's hands," said a London magistrate
in a recent traffic case. It is astonishing how some policeman are able to