THE MOLLY O'MOLLY PAPERS.




NO. III.


When Dogberry brought Conrade before Leonato, the only offense he seems
to have had a clear idea of, was the one against himself: 'Moreover,
sir, this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass. I beseech you,
let it be remembered in his punishment.' Shakspeare has, by this 'one
touch of nature,' made Dogberry kin to the whole world. It would be the
most terrible of punishments to run the gauntlet of a company, every one
of which you had called an ass; whatever may have been the original
offense, this would be the one most remembered in your punishment, I
don't think it would be possible to believe any thing good of one who
had given you this appellation; on the contrary, the reputed long ears
would be worse than the famous 'diabolical trumpet' for collecting and
distorting the merest whispers of evil against him who planted them, or
discovered them peeping through the assumed lion's skin. Apollo's music
probably sounded no sweeter to Midas after he received his 'wonderful
ear.'

But my object in introducing Dogberry was not to give a dissertation on
this greatest of insults, but to illustrate our selfishness. Our
patience will bear great _crimes_ against others, but how it gives way
under the slightest _insult_ to ourselves. Now I am not going to
denounce selfishness; I'd as soon think of denouncing gravitation. There