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Continental Monthly, Vol. I, No. V, May, 1862 - Devoted To Literature And National Policy by Various
page 41 of 304 (13%)
stranger youth, entertain for me, fills me with profound and heart-felt
joy.'

Ah! then my trembling heart asked itself the question: 'What would he
think if he knew that it was a young girl who felt for him this pure and
tender affection?' Something whispered me that he would be rather
pleased than otherwise, and a wild temptation seized me to tell him
all--but I could not--I could not.

As my labors approached their completion, a gloomy feeling of dread
oppressed me. I feared that when the Vedas were finished my master would
no longer require my services. But he relieved my fears by reëngaging
me, and expressing a desire to retain me as his secretary until I became
too famous and too proud to fill the office contentedly.

Scarcely was this cause of dread removed when another, more terrible
still, overtook me.

One evening he took me with him to a literary _reünion_, at which every
_bel-esprit_ of the capital was to be present. At first I refused to go,
for I feared that the eyes of some of my own sex might penetrate my
disguise; but he seemed so much hurt at my refusal that I was forced to
withdraw it. The soirée was a very brilliant one. But little notice was
taken of the shy, awkward, silent youth, who glided from room to room,
hovering ever near the spot where his beloved, master stood or sat, in
conversation with the gifted of both sexes. How I envied the ladies
whose hands he touched, and to whom his polite attentions were
addressed. For, as I have said, my master was a man of the world,
wealthy and distinguished; and notwithstanding his advanced years,
ladies still courted his attentions.
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