betther known as a two-handed dhrinker, a bad actor, an' a thief. His
wife was a common scold an' led him th' life he desarved. They niver
leave th' ladies out iv these stories iv th' gr-reat. A woman that
marries a janius has a fine chance iv her false hair becomin' more
immortal thin his gr-reatest deed. It don't make anny difference if all
she knew about her marital hero was that he was a consistent feeder, a
sleepy husband, an' indulgent to his childher an' sometimes to himsilf,
an' that she had to darn his socks. Nearly all th' gr-reat men had
something th' matther with their wives. I always thought Mrs. Wash'nton,
who was th' wife iv th' father iv our counthry, though childless
hersilf, was about right. She looks good in th' pitchers, with a shawl
ar-round her neck an' a frilled night-cap on her head. But Hogan says
she had a tongue sharper thin George's soord, she insulted all his
frinds, an' she was much older thin him. As f'r George, he was a case. I
wish th' counthry had got itsilf a diff'rent father. A gr-reat moral
rellijous counthry like this desarves a betther parent.

"They were all alike. I think iv Bobby Burns as a man that wrote good
songs, aven if they were in a bar'brous accint, but Hogan thinks iv him
as havin' a load all th' time an' bein' th' scandal iv his parish. I
remimber Andhrew Jackson as th' man that licked th' British at Noo
Orleans be throwin' cotton bales at thim, but Hogan remimbers him as a
man that cudden't spell an' had a wife who smoked a corncob pipe. I
remimber Abraham Lincoln f'r freein' th' slaves, but Hogan remimbers how
he used to cut loose yarns that made th' bartinder shake th' stove
harder thin it needed. I remimber Grant f'r what he done ar-round Shiloh
whin he was young, but Hogan remimbers him f'r what he done arr-ound New
York whin he was old.

"An' so it goes. Whin a lad with nawthin' else to do starts out to write