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Mr. Dooley Says by Finley Peter Dunne
page 22 of 130 (16%)
whin th' Prisident's wife appeared on th' balcony an' made a brief
speech. She said she was a mimber iv th' local suffrage club, an' she
felt safe in assuring her sisters that th' bill wud be signed. If
nicissry, she wud sign it hersilf. (Cheers.) Th' Prisident was a little
onruly, but he was frequently that way. Th' marrid ladies in th'
aujeence wud undherstand. He meant nawthin'. It was on'y wan iv his
tantrums. A little moral suasion wud bring him ar-round all right. At
prisint th' Chief Magistrate was in th' kitchen with his daughter
settin' on his head.

"'Th' speech was received with loud cheers, an' th' mob proceeded down
Pinnslyvanya Avnoo. Be noon all enthrances to th' capital were jammed.
Congressmen attimptin' to enter were seized be th' hair iv th' head an'
made to sign a pa-aper promisin' to vote right. Immejately afther th'
prayer th' Hon'rable Clarence Gumdhrop iv Matsachoosetts offered th'
suffrage bill f'r passage. 'Th' motion is out iv ordher,' began th'
Speaker. At this minyit a lady standin' behind th' chair dhrove a
darning needle through his coat tails. 'But,' continued th' Speaker,
reachin' behind him with an agnized ex'pression, 'I will let it go
annyhow.' 'Mr. Speaker, I protest,' began th' Hon'rable Attila Sthrong,
'I protest--' At this a perfeck tornado iv rage broke out in th'
gall'ries. Inkwells, bricks, combs, shoes, smellin' bottles, hand
mirrors, fans, an' powdher puffs were hurled at th' onforchnit mimber.
In the midst iv th' confusion th' wife iv Congressman Sthrong cud be
seen wavin' a par'sol over her head an' callin' out: 'I dare ye to come
home to-night, polthroon.'

"'Whin th' noise partially subsided, th' bold Congressman, his face
livid with emotion, was heard to remark with a sob: 'I was on'y about to
say I second th' motion, deary.' Th' bill was carried without a
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