Mr. DOOLEY SAYS




DIVORCE


"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see they've been holdin' a Divoorce
Congress."

"What's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Ye wudden't know," said Mr. Dooley. "Divoorce is th' on'y luxury
supplied be th' law that we don't injye in Ar-rchey Road. Up here whin a
marrid couple get to th' pint where 'tis impossible f'r thim to go on
livin' together they go on livin' together. They feel that way some
mornin' in ivry month, but th' next day finds thim still glarin' at each
other over th' ham an' eggs. No wife iver laves her husband while he has
th' breath iv life in him, an' anny gintleman that took a thrip to Reno
in ordher to saw off th' housekeepin' expinses on a rash successor wud
find throuble ready f'r him whin he come back to Ar-rchey Road. No,
sir, whin our people grab hands at th' altar, they're hooked up f'river.
There's on'y wan decree iv divoorce that th' neighbors will recognize,
an' that's th' wan that entitles ye to ride just behind th' pall
bearers. That's why I'm a batch. 'Tis th' fine skylark iv a timprary
husband I'd make, bringin' home a new wife ivry Foorth iv July an'
dischargin' th' old wan without a charackter. But th' customs iv th'