"It's no laughin' matther, I tell ye. A subjick race is on'y funny whin
it's raaly subjick. About three years ago I stopped laughin' at
Jap'nese jokes. Ye have to feel supeeryor to laugh an' I'm gettin' over
that feelin'. An' nawthin' makes a man so mad an' so scared as whin
something he looked down on as infeeryor tur-rns on him. If a fellow man
hits him he hits him back. But if a dog bites him he yells 'mad dog' an'
him an' th' neighbors pound th' dog to pieces with clubs. If th' naygurs
down South iver got together an' flew at their masters ye'd hear no more
coon songs f'r awhile. It's our conceit makes us supeeryor. Take it out
iv us an' we ar-re about th' same as th' rest."

"I wondher what we'd do if all thim infeeryor races shud come at us
together?" said Mr. Hennessy. "They're enough iv thim to swamp us."

"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "I'd have to go on bein' white or, to speak
more acc'rately, pink. An' annyhow I guess they've been infeeryor too
long to change. It's got to be a habit with thim."




PANICS


"Have ye taken ye'er money out iv th' bank? Are ye wan iv thim impechuse
prooletaryans that has been attackin' th' Gibyraltars iv fi-nance,
cow'rd that ye are to want ye'er money in a hurry, or are ye not? I see
be th' look iv ye'er face that ye are not. Ye have been a brave man; ye
have had faith in th' future iv our counthry; ye have perceived that our
financial institutions are sound if they are nawthin' else. Ye