"Do I blame th' ladies? Faith, I do not. Ye needn't think I'm proud iv
me business. I only took to it because I am too selfish to be a mechanic
an' too tender-hearted to be a banker or a lawyer. No, sir, I wudden't
care a sthraw if all th' dhrink in th' wurruld was dumped to-morrah into
th' Atlantic Ocean, although f'r a week or two afther it was I'd have to
get me a diving suit if I wanted to see annything iv me frinds.

"No, sir; th' ladies ar-re not to blame. They've always thried to reform
man, an' they haven't yet got onto th' fact that maybe he's not worth
reformin'. They don't undherstan' why a man shud be allowed to pizen
himsilf into th' belief that he amounts to something, but thin they
don't undherstand man. They little know what a bluff he is an' how 'tis
on'y be fortifyin' himsilf with stuff that they regard as iv no use
except to burn undher a tea-kettle that he dares to go on livin' at all.
He knows how good dhrink makes him look to himsilf, an' he dhrinks. They
see how it makes him look to ivrybody else, an' they want to take it
away fr'm him. Whin he's sober his bluff is on th' outside. Whin he's
dhrunk he makes th' bluff to his own heart. Dhrink turns him inside out
as well as upside down, an' while he's congratulatin' himsilf on th'
fine man he is, th' neighbors know him f'r a boaster, a cow'rd, an'
something iv a liar. That th' ladies see an' hate. They do not know that
there is wan thing an' on'y wan thing to be said in favor iv dhrink, an'
that is that it has caused manny a lady to be loved that otherwise
might've died single."

"They're all right, said Mr. Hennessy. I'm against it."

"Yes," said Mr. Dooley. "Anny man is against dhrink that's iver been
really against it."