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Mr. Dooley Says by Finley Peter Dunne
page 75 of 130 (57%)

"Well, sir, if there's wan person in th' wurruld that I really invy 'tis
me frind th' ex-Prisidint iv Harvard. What a wondherful thing is youth.
Old fellows like ye'ersilf an' me make a bluff about th' advantages iv
age. But we know there's nawthin' in it. We have wisdom, but we wud
rather have hair. We have expeeryence, but we wud thrade all iv its
lessons f'r hope an' teeth.

"It makes me cross to see mesilf settin' here takin' a post grajate
coorse in our cillybrated univarsity iv th' Wicked Wur-ruld an' watchin'
th' freshmen comin' in. How happy they are, but how seeryous. How sure
they are iv ivrything. Us old fellows are sure iv nawthin'; we laugh but
we are not cheerful; we have no romance about th' colledge. Ye don't
hear us givin' nine long cheers f'r our almy matther. We ain't even
thankful f'r th' lessons it teaches us or th' wallops it hands us whin
we f'rget what we've been taught. We're a sad lot iv old la-ads, hatin'
th' school, but hatin' th' grajation exercises aven more.

"But 'tis a rale pleasure to see th' bright faced freshmen comin' in an'
I welcome th' last young fellow fr'm Harvard to our vin'rable
institution. I like to see these earnest, clear-eyed la-ads comin' in to
waken th' echoes iv our grim walls with their young voices. I'm sure th'
other undhergrajates will like him. He hasn't been spoiled be bein' th'
star iv his school f'r so long, Charles seems to me to be th' normal
healthy boy. He does exactly what all freshmen in our university do whin
they enther. He tells people what books they shud read an' he invints a
new relligon. Ivry well-ordhered la-ad has to get these two things out
iv his system at wanst. What books does he advise, says ye? I haven't
got th' complete list yet, but what I seen iv it was good. Speakin' fr
mesilf alone, I don't read books. They are too stimylatin'. I can get
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