"'Th' argymints iv th' sinitor fr'm Virginya are onanswerable,' says
Sinitor Aldhrich. 'Wud it be agreeable to me Dimmycratic collague to put
both feather beds an' his what's-ye-call-it in th' same item?'

"'In such circumstances,' says th' sinitor fr'm Virginya, 'I wud be
foorced to waive me almost insane prejudice again th' hellish docthrines
iv th' distinguished sinitor fr'm Rhode Island,' says he.

"An' so it goes, Hinnissy. Niver a sordid wurrud, mind ye, but ivrything
done on th' fine old principle iv give an' take."

"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "what diff'rence does it make? Th' foreigner
pays th' tax, annyhow."

"He does" said Mr. Dooley, "if he ain't turned back at Castle Garden."




THE BIG FINE


"That was a splendid fine they soaked Jawn D. with," said Mr. Dooley.

"What did they give him?" asked Mr. Hennessy.

"Twinty-nine millyon dollars," said Mr. Dooley.

"Oh, great!" said Mr. Hennessy. "That's a grand fine. It's a gorjous
fine. I can't hardly believe it."