"Tell about his going on picket duty," suggested some one.

"Captain ordered him out on the line," said the first speaker, "and he
refused. 'T-t-tain't no use,' says he.

"'Why not?' says the captain.

"'C-c-cause,' says he, 'if some d-d-dirty Mexican g-g-greaser should
c-c-come along, he'd run me through the g-g-gizzard before I could ask
him for the c-c-countersign.'"

More tipsy laughter followed.

"Tell you what it is, b-b-boys," said the quack, growing communicative
under the influence of the liquor and the fellowship, "if it wasn't for
this b-b-blankety-blanketed impediment in my s-s-speech, I wouldn't
need to work more'n about another y-y-year!"

"How's that?" asked someone in the crowd.

"C-c-cause if I could talk as well as I c-c-can think, I could make a
fortune 'side of which old John Jacob Astor's would look like a
p-p-penny savings b-b-bank!"

"You could?"

"You bet your sweet life I c-c-could. And I'm just keeping my eyes open
for some young f-f-fellow to help me. For 'f I can find a man that can
do the t-talking (I mean real talk, you know; talk a crowd blind as