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Second Plays by A. A. (Alan Alexander) Milne
page 60 of 375 (16%)

[Enter the PIRATE CHIEF.

PIRATE CHIEF (with a flourish). Gentles, your servant. Commodore
Crookshank, at your service. Better known on the Spanish Main as
One-eared Eric.

OLIVER. Glad to meet you, Commodore. I'm--er-- Two-toed Thomas, the
Terror of the Dyaks. But you may call me Oliver, if you like. This is
my sister Jill--the Pride of the Pampas.

PIRATE CHIEF (with another bow). Charmed!

JILL (politely). Don't mention it, Commodore.

OLIVER. My sister wants to marry you. Er--carry on. (He moves a little
away from them and lies down.)

JILL (sitting down and indicating a place beside her). Won't you sit
down, Commodore?

PIRATE CHIEF. Thank you, madam. The other side if I may. I shall hear
better if you condescend to accept me. (He sits down on the other side
of her.)

JILL. Oh, I'm so sorry! I was forgetting about your ear.

PIRATE CHIEF. Don't mention it. A little discussion in the La Plata
river with a Spanish gentleman. At the end of it I was an ear short
and he was a head short. It was considered in the family that I had
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