The German Imperial Clothing Department has decreed that owners of garments
"bearing the marks of prodigal eating" will not be permitted to replace
them, and the demand among the elderly dandies of Berlin for soup-coloured
waistcoats is said to have already reached unprecedented figures.

***

"On the Western front," says _The Cologne Gazette_, "the British are
defeated." Some complaints are being made by the Germans on the spot
because they have not yet been officially notified of the fact.

***

A neutral diplomat in Vienna has written for a sack of rice to a colleague
in Rome, who, feeling that the Austrians may be on the look-out for the
rice, intends to defeat their hopes by substituting confetti.

***

By the way the FOOD CONTROLLER may shortly forbid the use of rice at
weddings. We have long held the opinion that as a deterrent the stuff is
useless.

***

"The British," says the _Berliner Tageblatt_, "what are they? They are
snufflers, snivelling, snorting, shirking, snuffling, vain-glorious
wallowers in misery...." It is thought likely that the _Berliner Tageblatt_
is vexed with us.