And all this time the Germans have been under the impression that it was
British Tommy.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ALIMENTARY INTELLIGENCE.

MR. PUNCH. "DO YOU CONTROL FOOD HERE?"

COMMISSIONAIRE. "WELL, SIR, 'CONTROL' IS PERHAPS RATHER A STRONG WORD. BUT
WE GIVE HINTS TO HOUSEHOLDERS, AND WE ISSUE 'GRAVE WARNINGS.'"

(Mr. Punch, however, is glad to note that more drastic regulations are
about to be enforced.)]

* * * * *

THE WATCH DOGS.

LIX.

MY DEAR CHARLES,--Reference the German withdrawal. The matter is proceeding
in machine-like order, and one of the first great men to cross No-Man's
Land was myself in the noblest of cars. It was, I confess, a purely
temporary and fortuitous arrangement which put me in such a conveyance, but
I had the feeling that it was excellently fitted to my particular form of
greatness, and there were moments when I was so enamoured of it that I was
on the verge of getting into a hole with it and staying hid there till the
end of the War. Just the right hole was provided at every cross-roads, but