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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 11 of 104 (10%)
applause of those fine ladies who did not at all understand.

"Now that is a pretty song", said King Ferdinand, "and do you
tell us, Colombo, how one may get to this land, so that I may
extend the borders of my most Catholic Kingdom and spread the
teachings of the true faith, for to bring the world under the
blessed influence of my religion is my only purpose, and really
now", said King Ferdinand, "is there as much gold there as you
describe?"

"Ah, King Ferdinand", replied Colombo, "there is more gold than
ever I can tell, and I see only too plainly how grievously you
suffer to think that perhaps these people are living in ignorance
of the true faith. And I could ask nothing better than that King
Ferdinand give me ships in which I may sail to the westward and
come at last to the land of my imagining. This I would do in
order that the blessed soldiers of King Ferdinand who will follow
me may show to the inhabitants of my discovered land the grievous
errors of their ways and bring them at last to a realization of
the true faith which has been so helpful to our own dear Spain,
and", added Colombo, "our gracious sovereign Ferdinand."

And droll it was to Colombo to think what might possibly happen
were King Ferdinand to take his dream seriously or were the King
perhaps to be informed as to the true meaning of Colombo's
subtleties.

"Well, now", said King Ferdinand, "of course, to fit out such an
expedition would require great expense, my dear Colombo--great
expense. And, of course, you know, Colombo, that when investors
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