A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 13 of 104 (12%)
page 13 of 104 (12%)
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he had learned it on a certain Thursday from the sorcerer
Thyrston. "Ladies and gentlemen", said Colombo, "I have here a common household egg which I shall now ask the ushers to pass among you so you may see for yourself that there are no wires or strings attached. While this is being done, ladies and gentlemen, I wish that three of you would step up on the stage. Any three--don't be bashful girls-- I won't hurt you. Won't that couple over there kindly oblige me-- that married couple--no, folks, I guess they aren't married either-- they look too happy." Very painful it was to Colombo to hear these horrible jokes coming from his mouth, but Thyrston had quoted the authority of all successful sorcerers and not for anything would Colombo have had his trick a failure. "Now ladies and gentlemen", said Colombo, "I am going to ask this lady and these two gentlemen if they will be so good as to see if they can take this little egg and make it stand on end without any support." And very droll it was to see the unsuccessful attempts which the three made. Finally Colombo said: "Now ladies and gentlemen, I want you to watch me closely. I put the silk hat on my head--thus. And I take the egg in my right hand--thus. Now, if this young lady will be kind enough to hold my left hand--I hope that her best fellow doesn't mind letting such a pretty girl hold my hand--it's lucky my wife can't see me, |
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