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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 13 of 104 (12%)
he had learned it on a certain Thursday from the sorcerer
Thyrston.

"Ladies and gentlemen", said Colombo, "I have here a common
household egg which I shall now ask the ushers to pass among you
so you may see for yourself that there are no wires or strings
attached. While this is being done, ladies and gentlemen, I wish
that three of you would step up on the stage. Any three--don't
be bashful girls-- I won't hurt you. Won't that couple over
there kindly oblige me-- that married couple--no, folks, I guess
they aren't married either-- they look too happy."

Very painful it was to Colombo to hear these horrible jokes
coming from his mouth, but Thyrston had quoted the authority of
all successful sorcerers and not for anything would Colombo have
had his trick a failure.

"Now ladies and gentlemen", said Colombo, "I am going to ask this
lady and these two gentlemen if they will be so good as to see if
they can take this little egg and make it stand on end without
any support."

And very droll it was to see the unsuccessful attempts which the
three made. Finally Colombo said:

"Now ladies and gentlemen, I want you to watch me closely. I put
the silk hat on my head--thus. And I take the egg in my right
hand--thus. Now, if this young lady will be kind enough to hold
my left hand--I hope that her best fellow doesn't mind letting
such a pretty girl hold my hand--it's lucky my wife can't see me,
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