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A Parody Outline of History by Donald Ogden Stewart
page 5 of 104 (04%)
at the Columbus School for Girls. Curiously enough the name of
my Pullman car was Pauline. Not only did that strike me as
remarkable, but I occupied upper berth number 9 in car 11, two
numbers which, added together, produced the exact age at which
Browning published the poem of that name. At once I recited the
opening lines, "Pauline, mine own, bend o'er me--thy soft breast
shall pant to mine--bend o'er me," to the porter.

I like to believe that the spirit of Browning arranged that
entire journey, for the other occupant of this well-omened berth
was that admirable statesman Warren G. Harding. When I sat down
I noticed that he was reading Henry Sydnor Harrison's "Queed", a
book which was justly popular at that time. I at once showed Mr.
Harding an article I had written in which I stated that not only
was "Queed" a real novel, with a real plot, and real characters,
but that I believed the readers were stimulated by the spiritual
advance of the hero. The future president agreed with me and
said he thought that literature was a great thing. Encouraged by
this I confessed that I was on my way to deliver a lecture on
modern poetry. Mr. Harding replied that he thought poetry was a
great thing. "Splendid!" I cried, and taking a copy of Browning
from my bag I read him several selections. Mr. Harding said that
of the American poets he liked James Whitcomb Riley best.
Personally, while I have for Mr. Riley only wonder and praise, I
think that the English poet strikes a more inspiring, more
eternal note.

I then read to Mr. Harding Browning's "Evelyn Hope". He said that
he knew a Mrs. Walter Hope in Marion, but that he was not sure
her first name was Evelyn. As I knew that Mr. Harding liked a
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