They tell you drear tales of divorces,
And scandals, the talk of the day.

But hang all those cynical railings,
Just write me one exquisite line
To say you'll look over my failings,
And promise me you will be mine.
And though I'm aware it's the merest
Small matter of detail, to clear
The ground, I may mention, my dearest,
I've full thirty thousand a year.

* * * * *

BACON AND A MOUTHFUL.--Last Friday His Honour Judge BACON had to
decide a case which was headed in the papers "Cagliostromantheon."
What a mouthful! Mrs. CHURCHILL-JODRELL, who was a fair defendant, won
the case; and His Honour--this appeal having been made to His Honour
by Mr. B. PLAYFAIR, an excellent name for any gentleman, on or off the
stage, but especially for one described as "an actor,"--decided that
His Honour was satisfied. Peace with His Honour!

* * * * *

NEW TORY NURSERY RHYME.

(_BY "A CAMBRIDGE PARSON_.")

["The last reliance of the Tories in extremity is the policy
of 'Dishing.'"--_Sir W. Harcourt_.]