say, 'Heavens, I am stabbed,' then my chum and me ran to the front of the
house and come down the front stairs looking as innocent as could be, and
we went in the library, and I was just going to tell Pa if there was any
errands he wanted run my chum and me was just aching to run them, when a
yellow cat without any tail was walking over the minister, and Pa was
throwing a hassock at two cats that were clawing each other under the
piano, and Ma was trying to get her frizzes back on her head, and the
choir girl was standing on the lounge with her dress pulled up, trying to
scare cats with her striped stockings, and the minister was holding his
hands up, and I guess he was asking a blessing on the cats, and my chum
opened the front door and all the cats went out. Pa and Ma looked at me,
and I said it wasn't me, and the minister wanted to know how so much cat
hair got on my coat and vest, and I said a cat met me in the hall and
kicked me, and Ma cried, and Pa said 'that boy beats hell,' and the
minister said, I would be all right if I had been properly brought up, and
then Ma was mad, and the committee broke up. Well, to tell the honest
truth Pa basted me, and yanked me around until I had to have my arm in a
sling, but what's the use of making such a fuss about a few cats. Ma said
she never wanted to have my company again, 'cause I spoiled everything.
But I got even with Pa for basting me, this morning, and I dassent go
home. You see Ma has got a great big bath sponge as big as a chair
cushion, and this morning I took the sponge and filled it with warm water,
and took the feather cushion out of the chair Pa sits in at the table, and
put the sponge in its place, and covered it over with the cushion cover,
and when we all got set down to the table Pa came in and sat down on it to
ask a blessing. He started in by closing his eyes and placing his hands up
in front of him like the letter V, and then he began to ask that the food
we were about to partake off be blessed, and then he was going on to ask
that all of us be made to see the error of our ways, when he began to
hitch around, and he opened one eye and looked at me, and I looked as