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Peck's Compendium of Fun by George W. Peck
page 35 of 254 (13%)
and looked as though my mind was wandering, and I told the doctor there
was no use setting my spine, as it was broke in several places,
and I wouldn't let him feel of the dried bladder. I told Pa I was going to
die, and I wanted him to promise me two things on my dying bed. He cried
and said he would, and I told him to promise me he would quit drinking,
and attend church regular, and he said he would never drink another drop,
and would go to church every Sunday. I made him get down on his knees
beside me and swear it, and the doc. witnessed it, and Ma said she was so
glad, and Ma called the doctor out in the hall and told him the joke, and
the doc. came in and told Pa he was afraid Pa's presence would excite the
patient, and for him to put on his coat and go out and walk around the
block, or go to church, and Ma and he would remove me to another room, and
do all that was possible to make my last hours pleasant. Pa he cried, and
said he would put on his plug hat and go to church, and he kissed me, and
got flour on his nose, and I came near laughing right out, to see the
white flour on his red nose, when I thought how the people in church would
laugh at Pa. But he went out feeling mighty bad, and then I got up and
pulled the bladder out of my pants, and Ma and the doc. laughed awful.
When Pa got back from church and asked for me, Ma said that I had gone
down town. She said the doctor found my spine was only uncoupled and he
coupled it together, and I was all right. Pa was nervous all the
afternoon, and Ma thinks he suspects that we played it on him. Say, you
don't think there is any harm in playing it on an old man a little for a
good cause, do you?"

The grocery man said he supposed, in the interest of reform it was all
right, but if it was his boy that played such tricks he would take an ax
to him, and the boy went out, apparently encouraged, saying he hadn't seen
the old man since the day before, and he was almost afraid to meet him.

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