head he mauled it. We never saw a piano stand so much punishment, and
live, and Jack never got a scratch. The whole concert was a success, and
the troupe can always get a good house here.


A DEAD SURE THING.

The only persons that are real sure that their calling and election is
sure, and that they are going to heaven across lots, are the men who are
hung for murder. They always announce that they have got a dead thing on
it, just before the drop falls. How encouraging it must be to children to
listen to the prayers of our ministers in churches, who admit that they
are miserable sinners living on God's charity, and doubtful if they would
be allowed to sit at His right hand, and as they tell the story of their
unworthiness the tears trickle down their cheeks. Then let the children
read an account of a hanging bee, and see how happy the condemned man is,
how he shouts glory hallelujah, and confesses that, though he killed his
man, he is going to heaven. A child will naturally ask why don't the
ministers murder somebody and make a dead sure thing of it?


PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.


HIS PA MORTIFIED.

"What was the health officer doing over to your house this morning?" said
the grocery man to the bad boy, as the youth was firing frozen potatoes at
the man who collects garbage in the alley.